A humorous look at Aspergers. Englebert updated this blog post in 2021 here.
by Englebert Lau
What are the top 10 signs you have Asperger’s Syndrome?
1) You have inflexible routines
Girl: “Let’s go watch a movie tonight.”
Guy: “I can’t, I have to play hockey.”
Girl: “You play hockey every Friday night. Why can’t you change your routine?”
Guy: “Good habits are important. Do you know what happens if I skip hockey to watch a movie tonight? Next week, I’ll skip hockey because you want to go shopping. The week after that, I’ll have to skip hockey because you want to paint pottery. After years of no exercise, I’ll die early and overweight. Is that what you want?”
Girl: “Oh my god, you’re crazy.”
2) You have trouble displaying emotion
[Emotion #1: happy]
Girl: “Oh my god, you just won the lotto. Why don’t you look happy?”
Guy: “I am happy. I can pay off my mortgage faster. Look, I’m smiling. Doesn’t that mean I’m happy?”
[Emotion #2: sad]
Girl: “I’m sorry to hear that Calgary lost to Toronto. Are you okay?”
Guy: “I’m sad. Look, I’m not smiling. Doesn’t that prove I’m sad?”
[Emotion #3: angry]
Girl: “I’m so sorry that I broke your Batman DVD.”
Guy: “I’m angry. Do I need to snap one of your shoes in half to prove that I’m upset?”
3) You have trouble figuring what is appropriate in social situations
Guy: [Gives flimsy hug]
Girl: “Why is your hug so weak? Are you afraid of women?”
Guy: [Gives firm hug]
Girl: “Why are you squeezing me so tightly? Stop choking me, you weirdo!”
4) You lack empathy
Girl: [Crying]
Guy: “What’s wrong?”
Girl: “My boyfriend just dumped me.”
Guy: “Would you like a Kleenex?”
Girl: “What’s wrong with you? Haven’t you ever loved someone for years, then watched them walk away and then rip out your heart? Why can’t you show any emotion?”
Guy: “But I’m having a good day. The Calgary Flames won the hockey game. Why do I have to pretend that I’m sad just to make you feel better?”
5) You know way too much information about a single topic
Girl: “What’s the name of the girl who plays Daenerys on Game of Thrones?”
Guy: “Emilia Clarke.”
Girl: “How old is she?”
Guy: “She’s 28, born on May 1st, 1987.”
Girl: “Who is she going out with?”
Guy: “She broke up with Seth MacFarlane in March 2013.”
Girl: “Why do you know this stuff?
6) You have trouble figuring out when to lie
Girl: “Does this dress make me look fat?”
Guy: “Yes.”
Girl: “What the hell is wrong with you?” [Throws shoe at guy]
Guy: “Do you want me to lie, or tell the truth? It’s one or the other. You can’t have both!”
7) You have trouble describing basic emotions
Girl: “So how would you describe yourself when you’re angry?”
Guy: “I change the pitch of my voice. People who yell are usually upset.”
Girl: “But at a hockey game, if the Flames score a goal, people yell because they’re happy.”
Guy: “Emotions are unreliable. Why do you always ask how I feel? Why can’t you focus on reliable information, like facts?”
Girl: “You’re weird. You’re an emotionless robot.”
8) You care way too much about organizing stuff
Girl: [Puts DVD back on shelf]
Guy: “What the hell are you doing?”
Girl: “I’m putting your Batman Blu-Ray back on your shelf. What’s your problem?”
Guy: “Did you go to kindergarten? Alphabetical order is “A”, then “B”, then “C”. You almost put Batman on my shelf after Community. Good lord. How can I find a DVD when you’re messing up my stuff?”
Girl: “Dude, relax. It’s just a Blu-Ray. It’s no big deal.”
Guy: “Sure. Just like the alphabet and kindergarten are no big deal. Without kindergarten, we wouldn’t be able to have this conversation!”
9) You have trouble understanding other people’s emotions
Girl: “Wasn’t Romeo and Juliet the best story every written? Didn’t the story make you feel really sad?”
Guy: “I didn’t feel anything. All I learned from Romeo and Juliet is that it’s important to develop technology.”
Girl: “What’s wrong with you? Romeo and Juliet both gave up their lives because they were in love. They made the ultimate sacrifice for each other!”
Guy: “Can you imagine if they lived in 2015? All they had to do was send each other one lousy text message. Bam! Problem solved. No one had to die.”
Girl: “Oh my god. You’re an emotionless robot who doesn’t understand romance.”
Guy: “Hey, it’s not my fault that they didn’t invent cell phones in the Middle Ages.”
10) You need other people to provide clear schedules and expectations
Girl: “We should hang out some time.”
Guy: “What does that mean? What day do you want to hang out? How long do you want to hang out? What do you want to do? Can you be more specific? What does hanging out mean? Does that mean doing something that you want to do? Do I have to hang out with new people, which will cause me to analyze what is acceptable social behaviour, which changes from one person to the next person? Why can’t you define anything clearly?”
Girl: [Sighs]
* * *
Englebert Lau was diagnosed with a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome at the age of 30. The majority of Englebert’s professional career has been working in Information Technology as a Business Analyst. Englebert created http://www.hitchhikeraspie.com. The purpose of this website is to share a light-hearted perspective on Asperger’s Syndrome. Englebert would like to increase exposure about Asperger’s Syndrome for a wide range of people, by providing examples of how it affects his everyday life. Englebert loves TV series and movies, especially the HBO Game of Thrones series.
Artwork: Debbie Denenburg – Giant Purple Planet
Note:
The Art of Autism realizes many people come to this page with the questions, Do I have Autism? or, Do I have Aspergers? We recommend diagnosis by a professional. However, there are a couple of popular online quizzes that may give you an indication if you might be on the spectrum:
See also:
- Top Ten Signs a Girl is Bored by Englebert Lau
- Females and Aspergers: A Checklist by Samantha Craft
Oh my – my laugh for this morning. Forwarding it to my daughter who will just love it. Wwitch up the boy/girl roles for an even bigger laugh. Imagine being an attractive 19 year old woman who would say exactly what the guy says in this piece. Too too funny. Thanks so much.
I strongly disagree with the ‘lacking empathy’ point and for that reason I am making an exception and ending with two exclamation marks instead of one!!
Actually, if you read that one very carefully, it shows that the neurotypical girl is far more lacking in empathy than the autistic guy. She wouldn’t expect another allistic to pretend to be sad just because she is and would probably take the offer of a paper hankie in the spirit in which it was intended.
you are confusing “pretending to be sad” with empathy…Its not that she wouldn’t expect an allistic person to pretend to be sad. She would expect an allistic person to show empathy. (If you think empathy is pretending to be sad you might want to get that looked at by a professional.
You need to be dissected!
Gary, you mean she would expect everyone to act the same as her & if they aren’t, she feels justified incorrectly labelling others as ‘unempathetic’ rather than admit her failure to understand them? That people outwardly exhibit inner emotion differently & not everyone is about ‘show’. ASD spend their lives trying to fit an NT world, while NTs assume their way is the only way, rather than learning that the world doesn’t revolve around them & that other perspectives are equally valid. But it’s not easy for NTs; they’re neuro-wired to lack the understanding, tolerance, open-mindedness, balance, ability to see outside of themselves & genuine empathy that seems to come so naturally to ASD people.
I have Asperger’s Syndrome and I feel a lot of emotion and deep empathy.
I think the issue, often not realised by others (including neuro-typicals), in many cases, is that a person on the spectrum can feel so deeply (along with his/her many fears) that much of what they do feel is bottled up, tightly in order to self-preserve from pain. This can be interpreted by others as not showing or having a lack of empathy.
I so agree with you, aspie art! You just described my brother to the letter. Sometimes I catch how deeply he feels by some of his facial expressions (he happens to be blind, by the way). It takes a long time for him to feel comfortable enough to share his deepest thoughts and emotions, while at other times, they just seem to pour out of him. He does seem to bottle up his emotions.
Yes, except swap the girl/guy role – or better, make them gender neutral! 😀 So strange to finally have an official label for how alien I’ve felt for 43 years, why I had to painfully learn how to get by in a world that came naturally to others, their rules – I grew up in an era where you were classed as odd, awkward or ‘introvert’ < baloney term – How would it have been had I known earlier? As the young, conventionally very 'attractive' & but unconventional thinking female, who baffled others & herself. That I was justified in hating hugs & wondering why women are expected to act like soppy idiots & why I thought more like a stereotypical 'man' is meant to, why I am now more happy feeling like I'm neither. That it's not me that's wrong; it's them.
Ditto!
is she single?
I have never heard of aspergers until last year. I’m afraid to get tested. I have a very creative mind but I hate change. My husband, myself & 2 if our children moved into our new home. We own one now for the first time & I had arranged our bedroom exactly the way it was arranged at our last home or I couldn’t sleep. I have great difficulty writing on paper. I need everything to be perfect. If I mess up even one letter or leave one word out, I throw the entire sheet away, by the time I am done writing, I have an entire mountain of discarded paper behind me. It has always been a problem for me. When I clean house, everything has to be in different categories. Baby dolls in one toybox, dollhouse & dolls to the dollhouse in another toybox, stuffed animals on a shelf matching by color. All Elmos together, books matched by authors & sizes, balls is their designated areas. They all belong to my 5 year old who has autism. CDs & DVDs are matched up by sound & artists, The DVDs are in alphabetical order & also matched up by the main actors. I hate when things are out of place because how else can you find what your looking for? I have empathy for things that are real. Romeo & Juliet are just made up characters & the one who wrote that story romaticizes suicide so I don’t get it. I don’t cry at sad movies but I deeply feel for the people of real life who are in pain. I am not too fond of big crowds because when they become loud, that just hits my nerves so you won’t catch me at no game. When two people are in the same room, they talk so loudly like they are yelling across the street. I hate that with a passion. I feel things on a deeper level. Like when looking at a sunset or a rainbow, I can feel their colors & it moves me. I am the type of person who has to arrange her clothes a certain way in the walk in closet. On one rack, are my black clothes arranged by design & by pictures of my favorite show. On the other rack is arranged by colors & designs. I have to go now. I need to make the bed & arrange the pillows by patterns. It’s not a joke, I’m serious about that.
About the empathy thing, it’s the opposite for me. I have great empathy for fictional characters in books and sequential art, but I often lack empathy towards real-life people. I think that’s because the latters’ emotions and sentiments aren’t fully -or even at all- explained to me. In books I can read the characters’ thoughts directly (or even reread their lines, if confused), but IRL I have to extract everything from facial expressions and what they ‘re saying, which is just so confusing, as most people find it polite to not speak the truth.
Irrelevant to your post, but I find it difficult to detect other people’s sentiments towards me, unless they are directly communicated to me (“this is sad”, “you are embarassing me”, “I like you” e.t.c) and I often say things using the “wrong” expression (laughing while reciting something morbid, having a pocker face when I express my joy …you get it).
What baffles me the most is when people identify me as angry and/or distressed when in reality I enjoy myself and their company. They are nuts.
It isn’t easy being the 1-2% among a NT / crazy majority :/
On the empathy thing tho’, it’s why I can’t watch the news; I get WAY too upset & disturbed by hearing about murders, especially of kids or other vulnerables, I’ve always felt protective of the vulnerable & bullied, altho’ with those closest to me, I find strong emotions overwhelming, especially if they’re also noisy / crying, tho’ I’m learning to cope better.
Just thought I’d come in at no particular point 😉
My new girlfriend has Aspergers so I am learning all I can, as quickly as I can, and have always found every comment section more helpful than every article.
Yes, a prevailence of ’empathy questions’ pop up and I’m sure the metaphore provided at the top of the article is confusing to NT people, as it designed to be more accessible for those who suspect they have Aspergers. Here lies the problem.
I think a better one would be the story of the crab and the frog. The frog has a well and it’s the biggest , best well in the world. One day the crab visits and the frog tells him all about the well, how big and high and pretty it is, how much water there is, everything. The crab doesn’t know the frog has never once left his well in his entire life, and quite innocently asks if the frog has ever seen the sea. The frog, amazed, asks what the sea is, and if it’s half as big as his well. The crab is a little confused, and says yes, it’s probably quite a bit bigger, actually. The frog now gets really excited, asking if it’s three quarters the size of his well… The crab sees where this is going, and takes the frog to the shore. The frog has a heart attack…
I wish I could take my girlfriend to the shore, but I wouldn’t want her to have a heart atrack. Never the less, I prefer this metaphore 🙂 as we, my girlfriend and I, just work with different media while we feel quite the same things.
OMG that is so true. I am a woman with aspergers. I am continually perplexed by ambiguity. For instance, the entire legal system. The games lawyers play. The charades. The theatrics. The lies. It’s very odd to me. Or at least it was, until I learned how they operate. Then, being a person with Aspergers is an asset, because once you learn how these other people operate, you can beat them at everything. We are their worst nightmare. And the best lawyers and advocates you could ever want.
HA Bernie!! I knew it! (that you were autistic and a woman) hehehe
A few questions. Actually, one question. Why is the girl so dramatic? Some of those reactions are waaaaaay over the top.
I can relate to some of these, particularly #1, but looking around my house, nope at organization (I DO know I have ADD) and sometimes show too much emotion and overshare, which is a social problem but a very different one.
Ehhh.
I relate to a lot of them, too. Not that intensely, all of the time. Like yourself, I share a lot, but I don’t know what social problem that is; I thought it was just being an honest person.
Dude Do I have it?No Really
The only signs that I have are
1- You have inflexible routines
3-You have trouble figuring what is appropriate in social situations (Sometimes not most times)
5-You know way too much information about a single topic (Not everything for example Daenerys I only know the actress emila clark but I don’t know her age or about her ex)
I TOTALLY have # 5 and # 8. I also have # 6, but not to the degree it was depicted here. The rest of these I either used to have or never had.
These are all social traits that anyone can have. Simply believing you might have autism can produce The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon where now you know what to look for you start to see it everywhere. It’s obvious if you need someone to follow a certain social map like you describe the girl needing, it could be her that has the problem.
I have atleast 4 of these.
Number 10.
I do need the Schedule but not expectations, I just make my own expectations up like some normal people do.
I do need the Schedule because I don’t write it down ASAP. So I ask for it to some people sometimes cause I really, and I mean really, need ’em. That’s what you get for not taking notes, dummy.
Maybe Number 8.
I’m not organized but I still organize where they go in categories… but I don’t organize them while they are IN those categories.
I’m just lazy but sometimes just like to know where it is.
And I only am organized in some Video Games.
Number 6.
Why is it hard to know what to lie and that.
I just like being honest!
Even if they think I’l lying about how my Classmates saying I’m the worst one in our class even though technically they are WAY more destructive than I am, and I’m not exaggerating much
Number 5.
I just get to hitch over a single topic I found cool!
Like I’d literally research about it alot!
Number 3.
Dude, I’m sheltered… I dont go out that much. I’d rather type stuff about how I relate to these even if it is just a waste of time.
So yeah… I possibly have autism.
Luckily I think my friend displays the other half, whatever I dont have, HE has.
Especially 9 and 4. Because he sometimes just randomly hit people he knows.
And he hates kid like ALOT. So he tend to use the random Karate Moves that he does to me to the kids.
Which leads to some injuries for the kids.
Seriously what’s wrong with him?
Anyways I’m rambling and showing that I relate strongly to number 3 alot.
Or it could be the Search Results Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon that Cory said, cause if I read it correctly. That means that I could just be different to my Classmates?
Cause of course, my classmates doesn’t understand this Language I’m speaking, so they just think me of different to them. So I am just technically different to THEM but not different to the others. And why?
To them I am different.
But to myself I know alot that could either save their lives or not
(Obviously this is exaggerated but that still means I know alot.)
(Hint: I speak in English and my classmates are Filipinos.)
Thing is… I kinda agree with ’em.
Even in social behaviours I can’t do that. I kinda am like a pessimist in the Internet, I just think from what I learned like above.
I just do things from what I believe, hence number 3.
I do not know really, I just learn what I know and then go on with it sometimes. So yeah…
So please tell me if there is a way!
I confirmed that I’m no premature kid. I was born 9 months like a normal kid, I was actually better when I was a kid than now.
And I confirmed that I am smart too. With an IQ of over 130 in an IQ test in the internet.
I really need your help.
Give me the most elaborate and shortest answer you can cause I might just insert a “tl;dr” on it that I seriously don’t want to do but it’s a habit.
I’m turning 15 and I really want to know before than.
Do you want to write a blog for the Art of Autism about why you may or may not think you are autistic?
Debra [email protected]
I feel like i’m from another planet. Does that make me an asperger?
Why is this split “Guy/Girl”?
There are many, many men without ASD. There are also many women with ASD.
The person who wrote this is a man on the autism spectrum. We have women who also write their perspective. Autism manifests itself differently in men and women.
Agreed. That was annoying me through the whole post. Stereotypes abound.
Why do you think in absolutes? Generalizing is a normal and acceptable way to relate information.
Joe B; because they do, that’s how they think – question is why you think they shouldn’t – people are different, think of diamonds with many facets shining & viewing from different directions. And the issue is that it’s NOT generalised; it’s gender specific – that can hinder information transfer as not all relate to a stereotype (ie; women like stupid-heeled shoes, men like sports)- it can distract from the main message, which isn’t desirable – What I do is swap it round in my head, but of course I prefer if it’s more ambiguous; far easier.
I’m starting to come to the conclusion that I may have Aspergers. I took the AQ, EQ, and Ritvo (RAADS-R). I’m going to omit the numbers but the AQ was within the range. The EQ and RAADS-R were well past the range of the average person with Aspergers. Here are some of the traits I observed that lead me to suspect Aspergers:
I can’t/don’t interact with most people “normally”.
My theory of mind has always been off and consequently I find it very hard to gauge social situations (don’t know when I’ve offended someone, or when someone is interested in me, etc.).
Relationships can be very confusing to me because I don’t easily pick up on social cues.
I used to copy the way other people talked or acted to try and fit in.
I enjoy being alone, but I’ve always had a few close friends I could relate to.
I can only wear clothes that are soft or have the right texture against my skin.
I was always an overachiever in school. I have two college degrees (and everything but a Masters).
I have always had a proficiency with math.
I was a bit of a natural the first time I picked up a musical instrument.
I like having a strict daily routine.
I frequently dream vividly.
I have “tics” or repeated behaviors that I do without knowing I’m doing them.
I have a large vocabulary and I tend to know multiple meanings for the same word.
no one cares about reasons people act a certain way, they just show aggression and hostility regardless of knowing
I have all but #8.
I have 8 out of the 10 signs and I think that I have autism.
I SUSPECTED Asperger’s as long ago as 2000, but it wasn’t until 2011 that I noticed a memory problem at work and t a neurologist pinned down my problem; the good news, she said, was that it wasn’t Alzheimer’s – it was High Functioning Autism.
Never mind that the current diagnostic procedures would require observation of early childhood speech patterns; I’ll call it Asperger’s anyway.
The stereotypes for young people may not apply so much as we get older, and I was diagnosed when I was 67. Indeed, events along life’s pathway have considerably reduced the stereotypical behavior attributed to those of us “on the spectrum”, and discovering love at age 52 opened a whole new window on life, one I had not been aware existed.
With age, too, comes the ability to indulge in or refrain from the inveterate and sometimes involuntarily issued puns and non-sequiturs an Aspie might inflict on coworkers and acquaintances. I do it on purpose, now.
“Do you want your water in a bag?”
“No! Leave it in the bottle – the bags leak!”
If I live another 72 years, I may learn how to act like a human. If I want to
Im a 36 yr old male that has autism. I have never been diagnosed. I was born before we knew about this form of autism. I live a semi normal life that is lonely. The movie “The accountant” is a little like me except my skill is time/space more specifically gravity. Since there was no training when i was a child i had to adapt to this world. Upside i can now explain how everything from sub atomic particles to how a einstein rosenbridge “wormhole” is made. Children like us will shape the world one day. Its taken me a life time to understand why im different. Thank you for helping others like me. My only concern is children like us know to much.
I agree they have a lot of empathy. I didn’t show it much in my younger days. When my marriage broke up I think was the turning point. I show and feel a lot of emotion now, I can take on other peoples pain.
We go round and round with the ‘do/don’t have empathy’ talk, every time someone brings it up. But whatever word you use there needs to be a way to describe an unusual lacuna:
My personal experience is that there are many times in my life I felt nothing while others had some standard deep emotional reaction to say, witnessing a death. I get upset about missing a routine. I feel compassion for others and want to help them, because that’s how I was raised. But if they die, I have no feeling at all except curiosity.
My own death scares me because it is unscheduled and out of my control. And I don’t like pain. Logically I can see others also don’t like pain, and it’s a good thing to help them avoid it. If they can’t avoid it I can teach mindful coping, which I also practice.
But to me people are like animals in a zoo, there I said it. Facsinating, annoying, subjects to study and help. I would help and animal or a person, the difference is not very clear. One of my autist friends was a med doctor who died saving his rescued animals in a fire. He was also seen as a great doctor who fought for his patients. But he privately told me he saw no great difference between helping people or animals, and now he died for that belief. Who is crazy, him or the ‘normal’ people? But there is certainly a difference. Call it lacl of ’empathy’ or whatever.
If that sounds like I’m in a good place, then it’s false. I struggle to get through each day. Just writing this helps me get through my demons. I miss my friend. I realise it was autism drew me to him, a kindred soul. We obsessed together, and laughed at everything. But he was crazy and I could not live with him eventually. He brought homeless people to sleep in our shared flat, obsessively bringing home strays. I eventually had enough of the surprises. We met at meditation groups, it helped cope with constant anxiety. Nobody knows, nobody knows. As Rutger Hauer says at the end of Blade Runner, ‘I have seen things you would not believe’. A face totally dissolve with leprosy over a period of months, the bearer standing on a street corner in old Calcutta begging with arms outstretched, nobody stopping. Kismet.
What a load of bullshit.
A lot of these are simple ADD and anxiety symptoms… not autism symptoms.
wtf is with batman
Nice job.
I go back and forth as to whether I have Asperger’s, but I have issue with #6. You should never lie to people just to make them feel better, because they’re working with false information. I wouldn’t straight up say “yes”, but I’d probably tell them “That’s not a flattering dress”. I mean if a dress makes a woman look like a beached whale, telling her she looks great isn’t going to change how that dress makes her look, I think it’s kinder to tell her if a dress is flattering or not, so that she can work on that information. Maybe that is an aspie trait, but I just think that’s not a logical way to be.
I’m not sure what I have, and I’ve always had it, but of late my parents have been really wondering if they should take me to a psychologist. This is a big deal, because my mother, a woman who has little room for accepting the modern age of diagnosis and treatment and prefers to take a more religious route. I have trouble coping and at times immersing myself in the things that my peers take intrest in, such as school dances. These functions are loud and bright often overwhelming me so much that I am forced to crouch behind the folded lunch tables. This is one of many examples of meltdowns that I am subject to. Though I don’t remember many of them I have been informed that I have had them throughout my childhood, and that it is “not normal”. What has caused this? At school I am seen as emotionless and sometimes to filled with emotion, when I break down in tears. I only feel truly comfortable when in math and science. For me, english class is one of the worst things to endure. I am aked to find meanings that are not written down, and once had a breakdown when reading a poem. What is it that makes me this way?
no.2: I have such a hard time displaying emotion at the appropriate times and everybody is always asking why I’m so emotionless or if I’m “okay”. The last thing annoys me the most because usually there is nothing to be specifically happy about at that moment and maybe that’s okay.
no. 3: This example is the best for me because, personally, I have never been able to figure out how to hug people. I understand that for some a hug is an offering of emotional support. But for me that is a hard thing to offer up as I myself feel uncomfortable while trying to give someone a hug because I dislike touching others and try to avoid it as much as possible.
no.4: I have actually lost many friends, because of my lack of empathy and have a hard time connecting on an emotional level with friends
no.5: I have some interests in which I have made it my mission to become very knowledgeble in. This usually just scares others so I keep it to myself.
no.6: I can’t lie. Even if the person looks shocked by what they heard I usually feel unaffected, does this make me evil?
no.8: I cannot stand when order anywhere in my house is disturbed and the flow disrupted.
no.9: The scenero at hand is pretty much how my classmates react to me. I have been called an “emotionless robot” before.
So, do I have Aspergers?
A suprising amount of this is true to me, which makes me wonder…
no. 3: This example is the best for me because, personally, I have never been able to figure out how to hug people. I understand that for some a hug is an offering of emotional support. But for me that is a hard thing to offer up as I myself feel uncomfortable while trying to give someone a hug because I dislike touching others and try to avoid it as much as possible.
no.4: I have actually lost many friends, because of my lack of empathy and have a hard time connecting on an emotional level with friends
no.5: I have some interests in which I have made it my mission to become very knowledgeble in. This usually just scares others so I keep it to myself.
no.6: I can’t lie. Even if the person looks shocked by what they heard I usually feel unaffected, does this make me evil?
no.8: I cannot stand when order anywhere in my house is disturbed and the flow disrupted.
no.9: The scenero at hand is pretty much how my classmates react to me. I have been called an “emotionless robot” before.
I’m also higher functioning in school than the vast majority of my classmates. I love math and science, but english just confuses me. I was once asked to explain a poems “inner meaning”. I also have had many meltdowns throughout my life and they are often triggered by too much noise. Has anybody else had situations like these?
The lack of empathy is not a symptom of Asperger’s. We experience empathy differently and in a way that cuts deeply, but we do not lack it by any means.
I can smell the sexism from here 🙁
9/10 is that bad?
I have everything here except for knowing too much about one subject. I practically forget everything I’ve watched or learnt. And I am nowhere near organized.
No wonder people want to cure you all.
“I can smell the sexism from here” – I like that comment because why? Because it’s so fucking true!!! I think most men have aspergers syndrom and most of us women in relationships with you suffer a great deal. Some of you men on the spectrum scale – I think that means borderline-ish, I feel would be able to make a relationship work. Also, because you are aware of your shortfalls and not all of them are a huge problem. However, when you are unable to make physical contact with a person by way of a simple hug then of course that is going to be a problem in any relationship. If you can’t hug how are you going to be intimate? It is sad but some of you need to never be in a relationship as you will only cause serious emotional pain to the other person as you are incapable of making the other person happy other than entertaining how you yourself feel. Others will make an effort to understand even if they don’t and try to appease the person’s pain somehow. I feel a man with less emotion is going to be more difficult to a woman that say a woman with less or little emotions to a man. I know it’s not your fault but it’s not normal people faulty either “that sounds a little asbergers – actually it doesn’t, it’s very normal”. Best of luck to you all.
“It is sad but some of you need to never be in a relationship as you will only cause serious emotional pain to the other person as you are incapable of making the other person happy other than entertaining how you yourself feel.”
Sounds like you might have the same problem.
Aspergers is under diagnosed in women – they learn to hide it from an early age, under more pressure from society to ‘fit in’, & they do – doesn’t mean it’s solely a male issue or that ‘most men’ have it..! It’s same for the partner of either gender – & not all women do like being hugged btw. I don’t understand displays of public emotion or why people /men want to go to restaurants when you can eat cheaper at home (though I love Pubs; they make sense) or to shops or to a film you can already guess the plot of – & a NT partner or friend will think that odd, but if when you’re aware that people are wired differently – that shocking idea that not everyone is same as you – then there’s no need for misplaced offence or blame.
My name is brayden chambers please cure my autism
Yes and no. Technically, comorbid conditions include Alexithymia, which is an inability to connect words to emotions, it to describe ones emotions or the emotions of another.
Alexithymia usually occurs in part because of deficits within the corpus callosum. Another common comorbidity of Alexithymia (and autism) is PTSD, and I would say the jury is still out on whether it’s occurrence in autism is secondary to trauma or secondary to the autism itself.
Clearly, without the ability to describe emotion, one is without empathy.
Furthermore, one of the guiding theories behind autism is Theory of Mind deficit. Yes, it’s not the only theory, but it is one of the big three (WCC and systemizing vs. empathetic brain being the other two.
Theory of Mind deficit IS cognitive empathy deficit. This implies a deficit of empathy. Theory of Mind deficit is characterized as an inability to innately understand that others have their own emotional states, intentions, motivations.
“Perspective taking”.
Psychopaths lack affective empathy. They don’t intuitively share the emotional states of others. They, essentially, don’t care about hurting others.
So when an autistic person picks up on the emotional state (if it’s negative) of another, they suffer, generally, a sense of “personal distress”. A psychopath does not.
So, yes, autism generally implies a lack of empathy, but it’s not the same as psychopathy, and (to a certain extent) it can be overcome.
“Clearly, without the ability to describe emotion, one is without empathy.”
Incorrect. I’m alexithymic and cannot describe the emotions I pick up from others, but that doesn’t stop me overwhelmed by them, positive or negative, which is a part of why I’ve been asocial from a very early age.
That’s not clear at all and doesn’t follow logically, being able to describe emotion is not the same as feeling emotion. I’ve felt overwhelming amounts of empathy but often have been unable to express or communicate it “properly” to others. Just because I can’t communicate it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.
Xan that would be a great blog about emotion. Consider writing about it for the Art of Autism.
No, i am not Sheldon Cooper. I am not as predictable and unflexible as your “test” tries to show. I do think that an AS diagnosis can help at the beginnig making you understand your personal history and character. Even, and the most important to me, is that it throws away your feelings of shame and guiltyness. But, at some point, any label they put on you is limiting and don’t allow you to grow or to express all your truth, all you have inside. An AS diagnosis servs me no longer because i am not a cartoon and my life do not takes place in a tv comedy set.
You are intelligent and sensitive people, so you will apologize my english skills. Hope i have make me understand.
I’m a parent now for 26 years of an autistic male, high functioning Asperger’s diagnosis at an early age/elementary school. While most all of the things on your list I have come across before, the awkward social interactions, etc., I note a lack of attention to physical mannerisms, traits and ticks.
Clearly the social, mental and physical all work in conjunction, but having been in so many situations with my son in 26 years, along with other young men and women with autism/Asperger’s, it seems the presence of odd or quirky physical movements, stance, walk is common to Asperger’s people as well (basically, they don’t present or respond “normally” and/or blend in in public places like the majority of people do).
As my son has gotten older, I’ve noticed even more how others, females in particular, profile him, or try to profile him, how they begin, sometimes immediately, to notice that–though he is tall and handsome and fit, that his mannerisms, sense of physical space, and response to basic conversation is unusual. He has the classic wondering eye contact, sometimes fidgets or snaps his fingers, and sometimes bounces a bit–can’t really stand still.
As per the list of 10 traits on this post, I think that unusual or quirky physical mannerism or ticks should on or added to this list. Sometimes these traits are quite subtle, yet I’m fascinated how people pick up on these things nevertheless. The writer says he wasn’t diagnosed until 30, so perhaps his flavor of Asperger’s is indeed quite high functioning, more subtle, and not as physically apparent, but many Asperger’s people present immediate physical queues that they are different.
LOVE how this turned the whole thing on its head.
While reading it, it became clear to aspie me that, well, we are correct!!!!
I was officially diagnosed when i was in kindergarten and i have a special interest in autism. i research it everyday. XD
So, reading over this list, I feel like I have all of the symptoms save for #4: It’s there, but not as heavy as I’d like it. Also took that online test — managed a score of 33. Where 34 is where the level is for “Autism Likely.”
Looks like I’m going to have to bring something up with my therapist next visit.
Oh dear. Almost each and every point is total bullshit. Based on this, I do understand why so many people mix us up with narcissistic or borderline personnalities.
I really enjoyed your blog, it’s really well-informative and interesting. Thank you for sharing this. Aspergers find it difficult to interpret other people’s emotions. They find it hard to understand body language or subtle emotive cues. I recently came across an article where they shared some knowledge about Autism Spectrum. Maybe you would like to add something from here- http://blog.nationalcollege.edu.au/blog/course/life/understanding-the-autism-spectrum
I totally agree with you, I am on the spectrum, and I know that I have empathy! Sometimes, I find I even feel more than other of my friends. I think, from the years practice on learning the pattern of how to interact with other people. In fact, I found myself learn more about reading other people’s emotions.
Misogynistic narrative where the girl is an easily annoyed b that could never understand anything that’s not “normal” or outside her expectations. Duh
yes Asperger’s is definitely different to autism in the way of having a conversation with another person finding certain detail irrelevant or being told some information which is boring to listen to.
Lol wth i just dont know i relate to some things here but not sure, i may be a human with an undiscovered mental disorder lol
Honestly, can’t tell who has Aspberger’s and who doesn’t.
Scenarios are too much trouble to understand.
Just list them.
The girl and the boy are both horrible straw-man characters who make no effort to understand each other. Being on the spectrum is no excuse to treat others badly. If people actually talked to one another like this, we’d be living in a much colder world.
Exactly… People seem to want to believe that people with Asperger’s lack the ability to recognize when someone is being a jerk.
I have too often had to express to people that those of us on the spectrum do not lack empathy. That is the realm of a socio-/psychopathic mind… That is not us. I really wish people would stop saying perpetuating that myth. Not being able to process emotions in the same way as neuro-typicals, doesn’t justify the claim. It may take us a few steps more to get to the same place, but we get there.
I’m sure you meant to write:
“She’s 28, born on Monday May 1st, 1987.”
Why do you pretend only guys have aspergers? Why does the guy in every one of your examples have aspergers and why does the girl is neurotypical every time? This article comes off as misogynist.
We take first-person accounts whether female or male. See our list of #ActuallyAutistic blog posts on the tab of our website.
It was an.adjustment for me when I discovered I have Asperger’s.
I have always had highly significant social and work related challenges and sought help which led to being professionally diagnosed with Aspergers some years ago but I’ve always had doubts/been skeptical of this diagnosis. I have done some online tests and usually get borderline results. When I look at symptoms that are often given, I definitely hit some. But if I consider the symptoms, I think my why is different than the why for Aspergers. Looked at this site and not one of the 10 fits me. Then I did the 2 tests and was in neurotypical range. So more and more I consider that diagnosis to be completely misguided. This still leaves the question of what I have, which sometimes looks a bit like Aspergers, unanswered… This is frustrating!
Alright, but as a hockey fan, I got a serious kick out of every example being about the Calgary Flames
I don’t mean to correct you guys but, Emilia Clarke was born on October 23rd, 1986 not May 1st, 1987.
lol this article is so lame, just written by men for men. If you’re socialized as a woman from a young age, you get really good at masking so this is just total cringe – rules can be learned, yes they’re hard and some things can be subtle but this just feels like every guy i’ve ever talked to who knows it all and won’t listen to or acknowledge there are other perspectives and experiences.
having to do the “right” things causes so much drain and pain, and trying to find answers ending up places like this while looking for answers is just infuriating. you literally have to google “woman with autism” or “aspergers in females” to get anything even remotely close because it’s all geared towards MEN!
I love how the person that wrote this decided women were incapable of having autism lol.
Not many Asperger’s people are like this Girls must present very differently perhaps.
The girl role here seems to be a jerk imo.
But the guy role seems not what I am like at all as an Aspie. Anyway all are different can’t base on one persons aspect on role play conversation.