Christian AND Autistic…?

Miya Sue

Maybe I’m wrong, but I personally don’t think God would’ve made such cool things in life or given us the capacity to think, create and have fun if none of it was allowed.

By Miya Sae

Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard one of these in church:

• “Oh, you’re struggling with X, Y, Z and it’s not going away? Just pray harder! Your faith just isn’t strong enough!”

• “You must CONSTANTLY be outside of your comfort zone, no matter what. God doesn’t care about your happiness. We need to have joy instead of happiness, which actually means we need to be miserable and depressed.”

• “Liking or enjoying something a lot outside of reading the Bible or praying every moment is IDOLATRY!”

• “You don’t act the same as the rest of us, which means you’re in sin and must repent!”

Okay, let’s be real.

Most churches aren’t preaching to neurodivergent audiences. More often than not, people who say these things are genuinely well-intentioned, though the effects can obviously still be harmful. Most church leaders—much like humanity in general—don’t really get things like autism outside of stereotypes. Heck, even I didn’t get it for most of my life, being an autistic person myself!

You don’t typically hear sermons about neurodivergence or its implications, and they probably aren’t the areas of focus at your Bible study group. Most people don’t even think about these topics, plain and simple. But the sad reality is that this can easily lead to intense shame and feelings of being extra bad sinners for people who are neurodivergent. We often feel alone and all but hopeless. It makes us want to hide from God.

I personally am obsessively interested in things like anime, video games and other nerdy hobbies and art forms. I spend a lot of time in my head creating fantasies and stories. I enjoy my hobbies more than what most people probably consider to be “normal.”

And I spent about 25 years of my life keeping it all a secret because I felt so ashamed and filthy.

Why was I “wasting time” with all that stuff when I could be reading my Bible for eight hours instead? Why wasn’t I using my God-given time for “Christian-y” activities? Why couldn’t I stop daydreaming and loving fictional characters no matter how hard I prayed or how many people prayed for me?

I must be an idolator and a weirdo!

“Oh no! I can’t stop liking things, daydreaming or writing fanfiction! Does that mean I’m unrepentant and unacceptable to God?!”

It wasn’t until I got connected with a wonderful, neurodivergent faith mentor that I realized I’d been believing lies that were crippling me in every possible way. She was the first person who told me that I’m allowed to enjoy my hobbies and passions. I’m not a filthy sinner for doing so. I don’t have to burn and destroy my creative mind. To be clear, nothing should ever replace thing like spending time in prayer and reading Scripture. But does that mean we’re never allowed to do anything else?

I was later diagnosed with autism and spent time actually learning what that meant, which also explained a few things… or basically my whole life.

I hyperfixate on my special interests because of my autistic brain.

I struggle with things like customer service, large social gatherings and responding quickly to unexpected situations because of sensory overwhelm and the way my brain is wired.

I’m burned out because I’ve been masking for so many years.

And here’s the kicker: nothing is wrong with me.

This is how God fearfully and wonderfully made me. I never needed to be “healed” of anything in the first place.

He is the ultimate Creator, and therefore I can reflect His image when I’m creative myself (which often involves my intense special interests). Worshiping God is meant to be an ongoing act and state of the heart, and there are many more ways to do so than literally singing praises at church. Enjoying and giving thanks for the things He created, including things that other people have created because of the creative minds He gave them, can be an act of worship in itself.

Obviously, don’t be daydreaming about clearly sinful things like murder, adultery, or anything along those lines; particularly if you’ll be tempted to act on them. But apart from that, why are morally neutral acts like daydreaming and fun content creation so frowned upon? We wouldn’t have any kind of art if no one used their gifts and imaginations.

It’s one thing if Scripture specifically classifies something as sin. It’s a completely different thing if people or society as a whole simply find it weird or unusual. It’s one thing if God convicts a specific person to stop doing something, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone else must follow suit.

In my experience, church culture tends to throw around the term “idolatry” a lot. It tends to claim that spending more than a little bit of time on something is equivalent to worship.

But where does Scripture say that?

When you think of your special interests, are you putting your faith in them to save you? Do you look to them for power or salvation? Or are you simply enjoying them while still loving Jesus?

Is it true conviction from the Holy Spirit, or is it learned anxiety and shame from other people?

If something is truly causing problems in your life, ask yourself why you’re feeling that way, why you’re having certain thoughts, why you believe it’s damaging your relationship with God.

All good questions to ask, as opposed to jumping straight to the “NOPE, I need to get rid of this thing immediately!” conclusion.

If you’re a neurodivergent Christian like me who has carried paralyzing shame around, knowing what it’s like to feel like a failure to God, please take heart and know that He delights in you.

Know you are wonderful the way you are.

Autism is not a sin. ADHD is not a sin.

Or a curse. Or a disease.

When you hear other Christians say harmful or ableist things, remember that they most likely don’t know what it’s like to be neurodiverse. They probably haven’t thought about the unique and amazing ways we can serve God.

We don’t have to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. That’s just living legalistically!

“For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Christ died for us so that we could have freedom; not so that we’d hate ourselves and feel like garbage 24/7. It’s important to remember that nothing we could ever do—or fail to do—will make God love us any less.

If certain Christians don’t like the ways we’re different, then that’s their problem. You are a beautiful, diverse child of God who He made intentionally. We’re free to stim at church, discuss our interests, reject the idea of small talk and rest when we need to. So write that fanfic. Draw that picture of your favorite anime ship. Daydream those stories. As 1 Corinthians 6:12 says: “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful.” Maybe I’m wrong, but I personally don’t think God would’ve made such cool things in life or given us the capacity to think, create and have fun if none of it was allowed.

Believe it or not, God does care about your happiness. He cares about everything in your life.

“So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne!” (Ecclesiastes 9:7-8)

God has different plans for different people. Maybe the person sitting next to you at church is called to be an overseas missionary, while you’re called to take care of your family and love on your small circle of friends—in your own way.

Maybe your buddy feels convicted to start a big community Bible study, but you’re called to hop on Discord and talk to fellow Christians about Jesus and explore theology. One is not better than the other.

It wouldn’t exactly be ideal if every single person was a nun or a Billy Graham. God uses people everywhere and is present with us in everything.

Here’s my advice to neurodivergent people of faith: talk to other neurodiverse Christians. Find Christians who have the same special interests as you. Ask them what they believe about hyper-fixation, sensory overwhelm, and other traits—and how they relate to faith.

Think about God’s goodness and love for you as opposed to your own shortcomings and anxieties. I’ve found so much freedom and relief from taking these steps, though I’m still in the challenging process of unlearning harmful thoughts and fighting anxiety.

But I’m here now to share my story.

The more open discussions we have, the more people will understand us and neurodiversity as a whole.

Miya Sue

Miya Sae is an autistic Christian and an aspiring author. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a BSW in social work and has worked in various fields. Diagnosed at age 26, she has become an autism advocate and strives to bring hope and encouragement to other misunderstood, autistic Christians like herself.

Miya became a willing Christian at age 14 after a dramatic and unforgettable encounter. Since then she has been passionate about sharing the love of Christ with anyone who desires to listen. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband and their two feline children, Nebby and Mochi.

You can follow her on social media and find her blog at www.miyasae.com/blog

6 Comments

  • Thank you for this wonderful post! I usually come across blogposts by autists who have been traumatized by people who’ve misused the Bible and/or used warped views of Christianity to control, demean, and/or condemn the neurodivergent. Their trauma is very real. So, it is refreshing to read a blogpost by someone who has received the neurodivergent-affirming message that true Biblical Christianity offers.

    As Psalm 139 says, we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made” by God. Without exception, God made each one of us in His image, i.e., with a heart, a soul, a spirit, a mind, and the ability feel emotions. We all have a purpose, and Jesus Christ believed that we were ALL worth dying for.

    “Unconditional love” is God’s message to the autist and to every other human being on planet Earth. Anyone who presents Christianity as something other than this has either: (1) genuinely misunderstood the Gospel message, or (2) decided to use the Bible as a way to maintain political, economic, and/or social control over vulnerable people.

    As an African-American autist, I am very familiar with how the Bible has been misused to literally keep my ancestors enslaved. However, the Bible says that the Word of God cannot be bound! Jesus Christ is the only reason why African-Americans survived slavery, Jim Crow, and American society’s continued use of lynching and micro-/macro- aggressions as means of social control.

    Academics who study African-American history and culture know that the African-American Christian church is the one and only African-American social institution which was continually “allowed” to exist during slavery, the post-Civil War era, and Jim Crow segregation. Only through authentic Bible teaching did African-Americans learn that we were not the sub-human, soulless “animals” that our slavemasters, Charles Darwin, eugenicists, and many white “Christians” said that we were.

    What men meant for evil, God used for good to enable my forebears to persevere despite the horrors of slavery and the modern era. The Hitlers and Margaret Sangers of the world will always classify the differently-abled as “useless eaters” who should be ignored, silenced, and/or exterminated. Therefore, we will always need the truth of God’s love and purpose for us to be our literal and figurative life-preserver.

    Just as the power of Christ brought generations of African-Americans through 600 years of enslavement and subjugation in North America, He can also empower neurodivergent people to both survive and thrive in a world which is often hateful and hostile toward anyone who looks, thinks, speaks, or acts differently from societal norms. Jesus Christ will always affirm and protect the personhood of the neurodivergent no matter what neurotypical people think or believe about us!

    Thanks, again, for your powerful personal testimony!

  • miya, you have blessed my soul. As a mom of a daughter with Aspergers, Ive longed to put everything you said in my words and have not been successful.
    I am praying about sharing your words with my daughter… I beleive with all my heart … it will bless her as well.
    God bless you and keep sharing God’s love the way you do.

  • I admire the strength of your faith; your commitment and devotion, which reveal advanced spiritual skills. I pray that your religion is deserving of your incandescent spiritual membership.

    love and strength,
    Steve

  • Thankyou, Miya! So well-said. Not all churches are like that…it seems to be a trait of some penecostal-type denominations, and it’s a (wrong!)teaching that is applied to just about anything different or ‘awkward’..including strained relationships, low incomes, physical, emotional or mental illness or injury, unemployment, abuse or the scars thereof, lack of transport, lack of children….been there, left that!! I am an ADHD/Gifted mum, with an Aspergers son, and another the same as me. We are all passionate Christians. I loved to write stories, songs and poetry, but as a child and teenager, it was never really considered something l might do with my life, and so l began to feel guilty if l spent time on it, as it wasn’t ‘work’. l wrote very little until l finally found a church where l was encouraged to write songs. I was 39. Then at 57, l was invited along to a writers’ group, and my writing just took off!! I found that my gift was still there, and now that God had brought me through some really bad things, and healed me so much from my past, l could write without fear, and it was easy! One day, as l was thanking God for this, He quietly challenged me (like He does) and asked me how l was going to use this to draw people to Him, even in secular circles like the writers’ group.So l thought and prayed;l knew He would tell me! The answer was that all my stories and poems would be hopeful…and at least once in every story, the main character would ask God for help, even just under their breath. And the help would come.And so far, so good! When my audience sighs with contentment at the end, l know l have done my job, for my Father, and that He’s pleased. And that makes me very happy. It’s what our output achieves in bringing people hope, joy, the stirrings of love, care, empathy, and an awareness of God’s Realness that is the difference between just passing the time pleasantly, and using our time & energy really well….for Him. I might never be a famous author, poet or songwriter, but if my work stirs hearts, and allows God’s Spirit to move in hearts previously closed to Him, or ignorant of Him, then my little life has been well-spent. All credit to Yahweh! Hope this has been helpful to someone. May God bless you all. See you on the other side…❤✝️❤ Bev

  • One thing that happens is if I mention anything about angels (just as my autism narrow interest) and people act like I idolize them or put them before God. I only worship God no one else but God as the only one. I been told I have a guardian angel if not more giving me extra help from my disability, but I get really annoyed that people make this mistake a lot about “oh Chris, well you focus too much on angels…” well I legit have my mind on God most of the day, I like to pray to him in my head and ask for help whenever I need it at community support services, my day job, my house chores, I enjoy and feel the joy of Bible study and him and my guardian angel (but only because God commands him to)surround me as I lay myself down to sleep. I’m serious, I’ll be asleep and God will bring a knock to the door, I look and find no one there and realize I’m running late for work then realize God sent an angel to knock on my door as a wake up call. But in the end God is the only one I bow down and worship and focus on, I also animate cartoons and write comics with Christian morals to the episodes. It’s a gift given to me by God but to not only cheer people up but to minister to others with inspiration and morals. Praise Jesus

  • Amen! I will be sharing your testimony with my son and my husband. We are all Christian autists. My son, in particular, will be encouraged by your explanation of how your belief in Christ informs your daily actions and thoughts.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.