Baby talk – why do people talk to #autistic adults and children like they are infants

Autism comic strip by autistic artist Carissa P. depicts “Baby Talk”

by Debra Muzikar

A couple weeks ago my Facebook friend Stefanie shared with me this audio clip she recorded on her I-phone.

Stefanie just turned 49. In the audio clip you can hear her neighbor (who has known her since she was a child) talking to her as if she is three years old. Of course Stefanie was offended! Who wouldn’t be?

When Kevin was 8 and was in second grade he had an “inclusion specialist” who insisted on talking to him in this same sing-songy baby voice. She’d talk to the other kids in a normal, respectful manner. I tried to convey this was not healthy for Kevin, yet the baby talk continued. In Special Education, best practice is to assume competence. Yet I’ve heard from so many that baby-talk is prevalent.

A couple days ago  Carissa P, 16 years old autistic, shared the series of cartoons below:

Baby Talk Hellooo - HOW ARE YOU?

You Don't Look Autistic

AHA That is so dumb - what are you autistic or somethin

when you jumble your words and don't even notice

When I queried my Facebook friends I found this to be a sore point among many.

Many Autistic people experience baby talk

“I do mind if someone starts taking to me like if I was 2 years old when they find out I have autism… Soooooo annoying..Yes I have autism, but I also have a 4.0 in University. Just because we have autism does not make us stupid. However I can’t get mad at the person that talks to me like a 2 year old, because he/she is just ignorant about autism, most don’t mean to be rude,” Dani Bowman, Autistic

“That kind of thing comes out of the institutions and the misconception of baby talk vs. slowing down a bit and speaking more simply,” Andy Dreisewerd, Autistic

“I hate when people do this! I see therapists doing it with clients we share, especially non-speaking clients! I have also experienced it minimally, but more as a woman than as an autistic adult since not everybody who I see randomly knows I’m autistic,” Annette Sugden

“I dislike it, immensely. I’m 38 years old..not months old. I have a more expansive vocabulary than these people do … and they want to talk DOWN to me? I’m autistic, not an infant,” Heather Johnson

“[Neri was] 16 YEARS OLD at summer camp [where the camp counselor sang] … BINGO THE DOG song. I removed him from camp and the year after asked the system to pay for him to be at the Gateway Art Studio,” Nirith Avraham, parent

“I get people talking down to me in baby talk as I have a developmental delay and its so annoying… Sadly I’ve gotten used to it and I don’t bother lecturing people anymore about it as its pointless. They don’t listen. Even my job where I work as .. a cleaner they talk to me like a baby and I am 36 yrs old not 36 months old. They treat me like I am a toddler … like I know nothing,” Debbie Ann

“My kids have told me they get really upset when they’re talked to that way and it makes them feel like there being talked down to,” Veronica Banchs, parent

“My personal favorite worst that always happens when I take Jeremy to the hospital: the nurses and doctors speak loud and slow, even after I explain ‘Jeremy has autism, but he understands everything -he graduated from high school. But he has sensitive hearing, please speak quietly.’ I want to say ‘Which part of please speak quietly did you not understand?’ Perhaps I should start saying ‘Use your inside voice,'” Chantal Sicile-Kira

Don’t assume incompetence

“This reminds me of the movie Wretches & Jabberers with Larry Bissonnette and Tracy Thresher, two assistive-communication-device-utilizing adults on the spectrum.
One of the most profound moments in the movie, at least for me, is when Tracy shared some extremely advanced, enlightened, metaphysical thoughts, and it became apparent that not only was he not ‘cognitively delayed’…..but extremely intelligent, evolved, compassionate and empathetic, regardless of having lead a life of being marginalized and misunderstood,” Kathleen Tehrani, Autism Brainstorm founder

People change when they know you have autism

“I always notice a change in how people talk to me after I have just given a speech on my autism. Some then do not approach me to ask questions as they feel it might be too much for me. Best way to deal with this is to talk about it. Keep reminding people that there is no need to act like this and why. Elijah [Gee’s son] is often treated as if he cannot hear or even worse as if he is not there at all. Be patient with people. They do not know it any better. This is why talking about autism is so important…talking with people…getting together…getting to know each other…I find this more important than lighting up buildings blue for one day,” Gee Vero, Autistic

Sometimes parents are the problem

“What you are describing is unacceptable, period! To play devil’s advocate here … often when I speak to a child or adult [with their parent present] as if they understand everything I am saying in a very grown-up manner (which I do ‘as if’), parents ‘jump in’ to answer, correct, save or otherwise without giving time for the person to answer or (when no language is present, especially) react. This is the conundrum for me,” Keri Bowers, parent

Degrading behavior may becoming from a place of kindness and ignorance

“They don’t mean to be ignorant or mean… they really should know better. My mom says that older people … it’s just how it was back then,” Stefanie Sacks, Autistic

“It’s probably ignorance rather than malicious. I’ve heard people talking loud to blind people,” Lenny Schafer, parent

“[It’s] mostly ignorance,” Denise Angele, parent

“Many people talk baby talk when they are trying to be gentle and loving, don’t be too hard on them. Mom was a paraplegic and many people talked baby talk. She was a very gentle soul and talked right back at them with baby talk, their language, not hers. Being kind was easier than trying to educate,” Susan Ramos Calderwood Spadaccini

A sense of humor helps

“To their credit, my parents never spoke baby talk to us on principle. However, when I couldn’t process a list of directions, she [my mom] would…slow….down. My response, which works to this day, was, “Why. Are. We. Talking. So. Slowly?” I lucked out. Both of my folks, now in their eighties, have retained wonderful senses of humor,” Carol Greenburg, Autistic

Baby Talk is better than ignoring

The lesser of two evils is baby talk, in my humble opinion. I watched my son Kevin being ignored for many years. At least when people talk in baby talk they are trying to engage the person.

***

Cartoon artwork courtesy  of Carissa Paccerelli aka Rissa P. Visit her art on her website.

See also Understanding the Spectrum: A Cartoon

52 replies on “Baby talk – why do people talk to #autistic adults and children like they are infants”
    1. says: lynda webster

      whats with the 60+ elderly crap i’m 61 and I def don’t appreciate the elderly bit thankyou elderly is 85 or over imo how old are u 25

      1. says: Rohan Zener

        You could, at least, be grateful, that were you merely called “elderly” and not “senile”. “Senile” is highly insulting as its connotations of being permanently incoherent and with irremediable fixations on certain things in your past, which is how their incoherence and general incompetence is characterised.

      2. says: Tara y Terminiello

        AARP considers you elderly at 55!! thats when the discounts start, and thats when you begin getting geezer mail, like reverse mortgage offers and funeral insurance.

        1. says: mplo

          I don’t care how old one has to be for AARP to consider him or her elderly. AARP is a rip-off, which is why I have not joined, and I never will.

    2. says: Rohan Zener

      I never talked to my mentor or my late father like that! Mostly because they remained mentally capable and coherent, and I knew it, too.

    3. says: Andy

      They do it when you’re in a wheelchair too. I’ve had people ignore me to talk to my carer, even when I asked the question or held out the freaking credit card in my name to pay and ask them to move the card reader within reach. Either that or they talk… slowly… because… clearly… my… legs… are… where… my… intelligence… comes… from…

      Don’t even get me started on all the other stuff they do – God forbid they found out I was autistic too!

      1. says: H Shepard

        Lol. Sorry to laugh at your pain but you made it funny. So THIS is why every person with a disability is “inspiring”…because they have to put up with dumb people every day.

  1. says: Sensory Swim

    This happens more than you would think. But it shouldn’t happen at all. We need to push everyone to the best of their ability and to do that we can’t talk down to them.

  2. says: The Angry Autistic

    Enough narrative along the lines of “just because we have autism does not make us stupid (which is ableist language),” and bringing degrees or one’s grade point average at university / college into the argument. PRESUME COMPETENCE. Having a different neurotype does not make anyone deserving of infantilization, period. Autistics don’t owe justification to anyone as to why we deserve respect.

    1. says: Rohan Zener

      Another thing experienced by those branded with autism, is third-person-only language. That stunts them even further, and in my case, was used and advised (or possibly ordered) by my mother, with malicious intent. I actually ended up learning the proper person pronouns and their contexts by the time i entered der Kindergarten.

      If that grammar was being used in Japan, then okay; in fact, that’s the formalised form and with their lack of person conjugations, the second person is implied via direct address in conversation. That and some prepositions “o” and “go” most recognisably.

    2. says: Rohan Zener

      In the case of third-person-only bullshit being used on you, you could give a comeback of inferring offenders to come from Japan, or Korea or China. Having languages of the same family, theirs would work pretty much the same, lacking personal conjugation, and implying second person via mention of the listener by name. Luckily they have pronouns for if the listener is unknown.

    3. says: Lel

      Autistic people who have been oppressed can say whatever is on their mind. If the use of one unfiltered word bothers you, please go to a different website. People who have been silenced for years do not deserve to get their voice heard only under the condition that it’s the right voice for everyone.

    4. says: Tara y Terminiello

      The autism spectrum has been expanded dramatically since the 1990s. Back then you had to be totally mute, or speak only in pure nonsense to be considered autistic. If you could actually speak…or write…at an age appropriate level you simply werent considered autistic. Now they include everyone, and they go to college, hold down jobs, get married….so Im assuming if you are functioning at that level you dont get baby talk, unless you are doing something strange and weird. My 31 year old son cant or wont respond to me speaking at an adult level, the fewer the words the better. I really miss the person he could have been and I worry like hell for the future.

  3. says: ilovehorseyrides

    I can totally relate. But a lot of Asian elders speak to young children (under 3rd grade) in baby talk, regardless if they’re autistic or not. I know this because I have relatives speaking to my 4 (almost 5) and 7 year old cousins in baby talk ALL THE TIME. It’s getting really annoying. Both are not autistic, but 4 year old does have speech problems/delays??? I swear that the baby talk is causing it and I want it to stop before both of them develop some sort of learning disability. Please help me!!!! 🙁

    BTW, they speak to me in baby talk, too. I have Aspergers (mild). It is very irritating >:(

    HELP!!!! 🙁

  4. says: Rohan Zener

    In spite of being branded myself at an early age, i still perceive and react to this world as “neurotypicals” would. But i am also aware of the ancient stigmas and many people’s destructive reactions towards those they should ever find out as having been branded.
    I say “branded”, because etymologically, it is a brand, having surfaced only through association with demonic possession, and invented with name and all during the late Christian Dark Ages. Today Autism encompasses ALL variations of human behaviour, and up until today only humans have ever been branded…now thaf the representative cartel is turning to other animals to brand, i can’t help but be suspicious and remember how anthropocentric its foundation is and always was. To think that those non-human animals share the same economics as us, to think those nonverbal, who are actually, in their own eyes, verbal, in the case of mice for instance, but actually speak their “words” at mostly ultrasonic frequencies so, no matter how loud they be, WE. CAN’T. HEAR. THEM. TALK.
    As well, i see ye think that degradation stems of kindness and ignorance; in my case it was, in fact, brutality and tyranny, from my mother, as well as a deep-seated fear of what she just might be raising.

  5. says: Does not want name to be revealed

    I’m constantly talked to like a fucking child! My teammates in volleyball never support others, but when it comes to me, they treat me like I am 4 year old.
    Oh and my parents tell me, “Oh it’s ok, just say thank you!”.
    My mom has kept this from me until now at the doctors office that I am in the autistic spectrum. MY HISTORY TEACHER MADE FUN OF MY SPEACH IMPEDAMENT! AND JUST LAUGHED IT OFF. MY SIBLINGS ALWAYS CALL ME AUSTIC LIKE THEY ARE MAKING FUN OF ME! I don’t know how rotten some people are, can be like that!

      1. says: mplo

        I don’t care how old one has to be for AARP to consider him or her elderly. AARP is a rip-off, which is why I have not joined, and I never will.

  6. says: Paula Powell

    I have been diagnosed with autism and If they have enough intelligence to be offended, then they should have enough intelligence to make an effort to speak normally.

  7. says: K.

    This is kind of ridiculous. I understand why you’d feel upset, but there isn’t a whole lot of insight on autism. It isn’t taught in schools or anything of the sort. Unless you have autism, know somebody with autism, study related things, etc. You may never hear about autism. A lot of people simply do not know what it is, or what it may affect. If you’re offended then you can tell that person that you can understand them like any other human being and inform them. Not sit there offended and assume you’re better than them. “I have a more expansive vocabulary than these people do … and they want to talk DOWN to me?” This especially was crossing the line. You are not better than someome simply because they do not fully understand you, or never learned fully what autism is. It isn’t talking down to you. Should they assume anything? No. It is 100% disrespectful. As with any other human being; you can tell them to kindly fuck off or inform them. Don’t try to act like a victim or like you’re better than anyone else.

    1. says: CC

      Not the OP, but your comment pissed me off. You’re projecting your issues on someone else and you’re the one who’s out of line.

      I am not a self-narrating zoo exhibit. I will tell someone ONCE that they can talk to me like a normal person. After that, they get my scorn. I don’t owe anyone the emotional labor of having to educate them six thousand times; they can listen to me once and get it and we’re good.

      I am smarter than many people who talk down to me. It’s an objective fact. Doesn’t make me better than them (and the commenter who said that never stated it made her better than anyone, either – projecting your own insecurities much?). But it does make me arguably more capable of understanding language, nuance and metaphor. And it does make the immediate assumption that I am some kind of ignoramus because I am developmentally delayed unbelievably offensive.

      Get off your high horse, and stop expecting autistic people to educate everyone around them instead of expecting neurotypicals to presume competence and listen. It’s gross.

    2. says: Ugh

      I BEG your pardon? Do you baby talk to EVERYONE then? How DARE you tell someone in a minority group being patronised that they’re not allowed to be angry about it? The fact that you assume that the person who mentioned their degree and vocabulary thinks they’re better is YOU applying your own issues onto others.

      Let me spell it out for you: We get assessed on our language. If he or she says their vocabulary is higher it’s because they’ve almost certainly been assessed and found their language skills are HIGHER THAN AVERAGE.

      You are part of the problem – you’re the one acting like you’re better, not us. The fact that YOU are ill-educated doesn’t mean it’s because we’re not telling people. Do you think we haven’t? How about just not making the assumption people are incapable? How about YOU ask them instead? No? Not willing to make an effort to even try? Yeah. THAT’S why we’re fed up. Because even when you TELL them, people like you say “Why are you playing the victim???” Take a long, ard look at yourself.

  8. I just discovered I a have autistic spectral disorder at the ripe age of 45. I have an I.Q. of 167. I was born XXYY. I look virtually male except I can never get rid of my love handles no matter how much aerobic exercising I do. I was born transgeneder as well as autistic. I always knew there was something very different about myself. I just came out last week and I took a chance with that dance AND SUMMIZED TO SAY MOST OF THEM WILL PROBABLY EVER CONTANT ME AGAIN. There were a few supporters. I guess I am the black sheep still but even on some new level .About three weeks ago I was recording my voice I noticed as well that the speech app on my computer only understands me about 30 % of the time is my best guesstimate. When I heard how I spoke to others in social situations I was simply horrified. I still feel ok about things in general however when you are born with 48 human chromosomes it makes me or rather us start to wonder is this part of human evolution or is this just another random human mutation. I see it as a melding of 2 souls in one vessel. I feel like a man however I have always noticed just how nurturing I am with others in general. Much the role of a matriarch. It’s an odd existence to say the least. I’m glad today I found so many of your posts. It brightened my day up & made me or rather us relate to what I/we are/ am currently experiencing into a more positive attitude. Thank you all so very, very much. Your consolidated empathy speaks volumes to me. thank you so kindly.
    – Vantablackjack

  9. says: shirley

    People talk down to me sometimes. They assume that I have an intellectual disability which I dont. I have had several ask me if I have an intellectual disability. People will judge you if your mannerisms are different. For instance my speech is a little slow, my. Movement are slow. I have a flat effect most of the time. People take that to mean that I am metally disabled. I can’t help what people think. I am not mentally disabled. I have tried to tell people that before but they don’t believe me. And that pisses me off. Because it leads to them patronising me and treating me like I’m disabled.

  10. says: Enrique V

    I have a 7 year old son, going on 8 in December. I am not his biological father but I stepped in when he was 3. I am the only that doesn’t “puppy” talk to him. Everyone else alters their voice to speak to him in a soft slowed down manner. With me he showers, dresses himself, is held accountable for being rude or not listening. I redirect him if he’s behaving very oddly. I try to encourage him to go for more. If he’s building legos, think bigger then making a rectangle out of 30 bricks. If he’s drawing, think of what you’d like to draw, don’t just scribble wildly. I am treated like a monster. If I call anyone out for dressing him when he’s going to be 8 soon, they get offended. If I tell them that when he’s home with me he’s calm and that he regresses as soon as they come around they get offended. They pay him to do his homework, even though they do all the hard parts for him. I explain that spoiling and babying a child on the spectrum is not healthy. They feed him sugar all day because he asks for it. It just seems like they all want him to be their little baby. Everyone has a baby nickname for him. “go peepee buddy bear, go nightynight”. I would accept it as just being loving if it didn’t cause an obvious change in his behavior. But I’m the outsider. His grandmother was been the biggest issue, he spends alot of time with her because we both work. I explained that when shes taking on so much time with him the typical spoiling from grandma can’t exist because he’s seeing you mire then he sees us. unfortunately she was more of a constant, so she was molding him. We fixed it so he’s back home, but his mom isn’t much better. I’m just the asshole at this point that keeps telling them to change their ways, nobody wants to hear me. I see his full potential, but with them he’s crawling on the ground like a toddler playing with toddler toys. If he’s alone with me he acts his age. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’d be more effective if we split up and I saw him weekends alone. But he’s not legally my son, so she could just never let me see him again. But I feel without me he will be trapped mentally in a toddler state.

  11. says: Leanne Strong

    I haven’t witnessed it, but I have Asperger’s, and I know that many people on the Autism Spectrum get SO used to things being one way that they can become unmanageably upset when they witness things being done a different way. So maybe those people recognize that people with Autism may have gotten so used to being spoken to in a voice you would usually only use with little kids, that they will become unmanageably upset when they are spoken to in an adult tone.

  12. says: Ian

    I am 15, and have had to student aid in Special Ed classes before. I am also autistic, in the form of the so called “social autism”. I myself have narrowly escaped special education classes, because they don’t help, they’re there to keep the kids docile and in control. And I can tell you, when ever someone brings out the baby talk, each and every one of those kids is screaming absolute BLOODY MURDER in their heads, because these adults seem to think that autism, or any other mental disabilities means stupidity and incompetence. I know this from personal experience.

  13. says: monk

    Not all autistics are talked to as if they’re infants. On the other hand I think my teacher named Jude (that Quaker with a fat face and messy hair) talked to me as if I was a baby, I think he was trying to be nice. And the reason he was constantly telling me off is simple: I was doing lust, which is against his Christian beliefs though he would tell me he has no religion (bullshit! he looks Christian, he talks like a Quaker, he’s a Christian). He has all the morals of a Christian: no lust, no swearing, a strict moral code, no begging or stealing, etc etc, the point is besides that he asked me to do something using a baby’s voice, which is condascending, but he’s not the only one. A carer at Miller Place during my adulthood talked to me like that but I reminded myself he was trying to be nice. Autistic people tend to fuss with small details even the ones that don’t matter, take it from me, the Puritan monk.

  14. says: slg

    What of those who get the opposite deal? In other words, what about people who, even though they are not talked down to, are assumed to be SO competent that when they do just one little thing that messes with how they’re perceived by another person, the other person becomes ignorant, angry, or confused? People usually tend to see me as being a relatively competent person, so I’m typically not talked down to (one of the only times I remember that happening was when I was in 5th grade by someone who just seemed to assume that ALL kids should be talked to in such a manner). However, there have been times where I’ve done something so “stupid” around someone that they tend to treat me differently afterwards. Do you think you could ever do an article on something like that as well?

  15. says: Belle

    And yet there are autistic Adult Babies who ENCOURAGE baby talk and infantilisation, by mixing their fetish with their autistic identity to excuse their use of baby items. Its disgusting. Watch out for them. If a grown autistic adult says they use baby bottles or dummies its a red flag!

    1. says: spencer griffin

      OMG. People like that disgust me SO much it’s not even funny!! I know exactly which types you’re talking about! Yuck!!

      1. says: mplo

        Yuck!

        Those autistic Adult Babies who encourage baby talk and infantilization by mixing their fetish with their autistic identity to excuse their use of baby items are not only disgusting, but they play right into the hands of really vicious, ignorant and stupid people who not only don’t want to understand ASD, but have the viciousness, ignorance and stupidity of poor white trash down in South Boston and Charlestown, MA, who rioted against forced busing back in the 1970’s, and who didn’t know any better.

    2. How about instead of ragging on a harmless sexual preference, you get it through your head that consent makes the difference here? I’m sure plenty of adult baby fetishists would hate it if someone treated them like a baby without consent.

    3. says: Alex

      I think it’s fine to acknowledge one’s own acceptance of the fact that one might grow up slower than other people; autistic people aren’t often given the opportunity to do so on their own terms. Instead, there’s an expectation that acknowledging a lower level of experience or mental or emotional age means, “I want to be oppressed by people who know better than me”, and, conversely, that acknowledging one’s legitimate competence or actual age means, “I should hold all the same responsibilities as a far more experienced neurotypical person”, instead of using ideas of age that work to an autistic person’s advantage.

      I also think fetishes are fine. But I do also think that it’s a mistake to act as though being slow at learning certain things is the same as being a toddler, or that having the mind of a toddler and supporting a sexual fetish is the same thing.

  16. says: Me

    Of course, people get weird around people who have something wrong with them. And don’t tell me that there is nothing wrong with autistic people, if everyone was autistic, this species would have perished long, long, long time ago.
    And especially in this time of whining and crying PC babies, who get offended about everything. People are just afraid that they might offend someone even those who has nothing to do with it. Yes, you, autistic people, may find talking to you like you were babies annoying, but I think it’s better than you being called retards and all the other names. Suck it up! This is world, people get murdered, raped , tortured (a lot of them innocent kids) every day. You have everything you could ever want in this hypocritical, self-loving western society of whining PC babies, stop making people uncomforable with your demands, maybe then they will talk to you like they do with regular people.

    1. says: ryn

      uh, excuse me? has someone ever treated you like a child, when you have said that said person can talk to you like a normal person?? sure, there are a lot of worse things that could happen. does that mean that i can’t get upset? no. is there one single, solitary person in the world, who has the biggest problems in the world, who is allowed to be upset, while everyone else is forced to “suck it up”? people have a right to tell people that they want to be treated as a human being. sure, it’s new to some people, but they could at least make an effort! being treated as an infant when you are uncomfortable with it, and you are just as smart and mature as the other person is not ok! people have the right to get upset when people treat them as less than a person. don’t call people “hypocritical” because their problems are not as big as other people’s. people are allowed to be sad. people are allowed to have problems, even if they aren’t the biggest, worst problems in the world. and how is anyone making people “uncomforable” with “demands”? what “demands” are making you uncomfortable? or are you just a neurotypical person who can’t fathom what it’s like being an autistic person? educate yourself. neurodivergent people have to deal with this bullshit every day. you probably haven’t. so you don’t get to tell people what they can and cannot be upset about.

  17. says: Trinity

    My 20 yr old cousin does get talked to as if she were a little kid. Not 2-4 yrs old but between the ages of 7-9 yrs old.

    The big reason for this mostly though is because of the way she dresses. She wears colorful bright clothing: tulle tutu skirts, twinkle toe shoes, shirts with color and/or pictures of animals (childish style), butterflies, certain TV shows such as Peppa Pig, My Little Pony, Frozen, etc. Her interests such as Nella and the Princess Knight, Vamprina, Animal Jam, and My Little Pony probably play a part too. Also, she is always with a family member going out anywhere and doesn’t have her own phone (yet).

    She has Autism and Mild Intellectual Disability. She is verbal, able to speak and intellectually around the age of an 8-9 yr old.

    Strangers usually just assume she is under the age of 14 and as far as family most treat her more as someone underage than an adult. Only two family members really treat her as an adult.

    It doesn’t bother her though. People are usually nice to her and she gets smiley faces on a store receipt that her dad has her give to the person who checks it in a certain store. It makes her happy.

    1. says: spencer griffin

      Well honestly, if it doesn’t bother her, then that’s fine. It would bother me, though, very much. Thankfully that doesn’t usually happen to me. I’ll get called “sweetie”, “dear”, and similar pet names occasionally by certain people, but they usually seem to mean it out of genuine affection, as opposed to pity, so I’m ok with this as well.

  18. says: Yeah, I am autistic

    I run into this plenty and I have a very efficient way of dealing with it. I start discussing something in great detail at a level that either only a few dozen understand comprehensively or a few thousand understand comprehensively to make the person speaking to me rudely, realize they’re the intellectually deficient one in the room.

    Is it polite? Probably not. Is it effective? 100 percent of the time.

  19. says: Katy Charlotte Grubb

    You are an ignorant twat who clearly knows NOTHING about people with ASD! If you did. you would know that many of the great movers and shakers in history were rumoured to be somewhere on the spectrum – including Einstein. I have AS and taught myself how to draw photorealistically, I have written a novel, and have just finished my first screenplay. If anyone’s a ‘retard’ here, it’s you!

  20. When dealing with such people, it is often very effective to simply respond with: “Can you remember to use your grown-up voice?” (Say this very calmly and seriously, not like their baby-talk.)

  21. says: Lottie

    I disagree that they are trying to be kind but don’t understand – remember, a huge amount of people are ableist. Also, a huge amount of people like to marginalise other people. I really think it would help the autistic community immensely if we stopped trying to assume NTs want to understand us and just tell them to sod off. They generally really, really like groupthink, the essence of which is stupid and involves happily jumping into ideological b*llsh**, and they tend to be more fascistic.

    The person who is talking down to you probably also does that to a lot of other demographics of people.
    They are idiots. Don’t pander to them. Point out they’re being nasty little ableist fascists and get away from them. They’re probably the sorts to happily follow dictatorial regimes if they are showing evidence of such monumental stupidity.

  22. says: Han-Lin Yong

    As someone on the spectrum, I’m learning how to look and act competent. I feel that the issue is a subconscious feature because my tone of voice tends to be overridden by my mood. Part of it’s related to the social cues that we give off. It’s not very easy to tell why in the clip without seeing the whole context.

    Studies show that autistic people give different first impressions. It could be the posture, facial expressions, or style of clothing. Style of clothing could be a factor as it affects perceived competence. Some autistic people dress differently because of their sensory needs.

    We still need to find a way to dress for success, even if our employers aren’t strict about it. If the fabric is too rough, we can choose a different material. Job applicants often pay attention to how they dress when visiting even when they aren’t going to an official job interview.

  23. says: David Alexander Campbell Lowenstein

    Does anyone else not get talked to like a baby, but like someone’s tween sibling?

    I feel like I’ve sometimes been talked to like I’m the annoying upstart who doesn’t know what they’re talking about; not like a toddler, but the way adults talk to people who aren’t legal adults. I’ve even had that attitude placed on me by teenagers who were less experienced and younger than me when I was in my teens.

  24. says: ryn

    i am constantly talked to like a fucking child. i havent even gotten an official autism diagnosis and they dont know about my self-diagnosis, so why do they treat me like an infant? probably because i’m on the shorter side, and i barely talk in public. maybe they treat everyone who’s different than them like a lower life form. maybe because i don’t talk to them, or at all, they assume that i have some kind of speech delay disorder (i don’t). idk what they would do if they knew that i am possibly autistic

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