By Ron Sandison
“By understanding our emotions we are able to express and share them and this prevents us from being overwhelmed and controlled by them.”
Ron Sandison
Many people with Autism have difficulty expressing and sharing their emotions. Instead of managing our emotional level, we allow emotions to control us. For years, my emotional arousal was like a light switch that is either on or off. I was easy overwhelmed by my feelings and environment. Any change in my routine caused an emotional overload, leading to a honey badger meltdown.
I often share in my presentations, “Most people’s emotions are like bottled water; when shaken up they feel a little anxiety—not much else is happening. I am carbonated neurologically like Mountain Dew, I get stirred up, KA-BOOM!!! Anyone want to do the Dew?”
Imagine, carrying a two litter of Mountain Dew and each time you get anxious or upset, you shake up the Dew. On your drive to work an elderly woman with her eyes barley above the sterling wheel is traveling in a Ford Escort ten miles under the speed limit; making you late—shake the Dew. You arrive 15-minutess late and your supervisor yells at you- another shake the Dew. You open your backpack and realize you forgot your lunch—time to shake the Dew. By evening you have shaken that two litter twenty-five times, you open it— KA-BOOM!!!
Now imagine you don’t open the Dew quickly but with a steady hand you gently and gradually open the two litter, now instead of a KA-BOOM, you release some fizz and the rest of your night is not ruined by dysregulation. During the past decade, I’ve learned five methods to navigate my emotions and express and share them in a positive way. Managing my emotions enables me to stay regulated and work fulltime in a high stress environment, a psychiatric hospital. You also can navigate your emotions and experience less dysregulations throughout the workday.
First, understand your emotional triggers—what makes you anxious, sad, or upset? Two emotional triggers for me are a change in routine and anxious thoughts from reading social media articles on politics. When I have a change in my work routine, I calmly remind myself, “This too shall pass.” After saying this, I plan a fun activity that will help me decompress from a tough day of work. I handle anxiety from social media articles by not reading them and reading books on topics related to my special interests.
When we feel overwhelmed by powerful emotions, we need to examine them. By asking ourselves, “Do I feel anxious, sad, or jealous? Why? And what is triggering these feelings?” Next, ask ourselves, “What physical signs do I exhibit when I am overwhelmed or dysregulated—does my heart pound, is my breathing quicker, does my mind feel like a rollercoaster or exhausted, etc.? By exploring our feelings we can better understand them and be aware of our emotional triggers.
Second, rate your emotional level—this defuses a catastrophe mindset and puts life in perspective. Emotions motivate us to take action and engage in life but when emotions take over, our executive functioning ability slows down and effects our judgement. When emotions run high it is necessary to learn how to calm ourselves down. Managing our emotions requires us to understand our emotional/stress arousal level.
Remember each of us is wired differently. I experience zero anxiety speaking to audiences of 5,000 people but extreme anxiety when I have a doctor’s appointment or waiting for a car repair or taking examines. What makes you upset may not bother your friends. Rating my emotional/stress level helps me to stay calm and put things in perspective.
Rating Your Emotional/Stress Level
1. I feel fine—nothing is bothering me.
2. I feel a little agitated—I can still handle myself & my feelings.
3. I feel nervous—on edge— my mind is beginning to race with thoughts and worries.
4. I feel really upset and anxious—I am losing control of my emotions.
5. I feel completely overwhelm—I am experiencing a meltdown and cannot control my emotions, thoughts, or body.
A number one on the emotional rating is a relax day off work or going to the zoo with friends. Level two is a friend at the last moment canceled plans to the zoo or a waiter at a restaurant brought you the wrong meal. Level three—one of your parents is in the hospital for tests or surgery. Level four—a girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with you. Level five—you were fired from your job where you were employed for over a year or you were in a car accident and your vehicle was totaled. The emotion/stress rating helps us evaluate our emotions and put them in perspective.
Third, share your emotions with a trusted friend—in the light negative feelings lose their toxic power and prevent us from actions we later regret. A year after COVID-19, one of the largest Autism organization asked me to write an article for their monthly newsletter. I wrote the article and requested to speak at their annual conference. I did not hear back, a week later they announced the keynote speaker, I had written an article on the speaker a few months earlier.
I emailed them the article and their next newsletter had my article. A week later, I got an email with the flyer for the conference and the flyer had a picture of me speaking. By now my emotions were raising, I felt like they had taken advantage of me. My emotions reach a boiling point when I received an email that only people who were fully vaccinated could attend. I sent an email with paperwork showing I had COVID only a few months ago, and my antibodies were strong according to the CDC, and I stated in my email that I would use a COVID rapid test and wear a masks to keep people safe. I got an email back, “NO EXCEPTIONS.”
I was furious and wrote an emotionally toxic email rather than send it, I messaged a close friend who would not attend because of their policy and shared my feelings of betray. I felt a release of my anger and a year later I was speaking to 200 professionals and parents at their conference. I averted burning a bridge and receiving the label of hot temper by not sending the email. One study found that people who write their emotions in a journal are 70% more likely to talk about their feelings with friends and family. The final two ways to manage our emotions involve self-care.
Fourth, the foods we eat affect our emotions—we are what we eat. Remember as a child when you consumed candy and cake at a birthday party and had a sugar high or for lunch you ate a greasily Whopper and fries and felt sluggish. Often we on the spectrum have food sensitivity and are vulnerable to physical conditions like diabetes, hyperglycemia, Crohn’s disease, and digestive issues.
Studies demonstrate a connection between depression and consuming large qualities of ultra-processed foods like chips, candy, and soda (junk food). One study found people who eat nine serving a day of UPD’s are 50% more likely to develop depression and anxiety. The study found that eating whole foods rich in nutrients like fiber, vitamins, and minerals is linked to good mental health.
The Western diet rich in omega 6 and refined carbohydrates (fast foods) causes our blood sugar to fluctuate and can trigger panic attacks, insomnia, and symptoms linked to anxiety. On the other hand, a Mediterranean diet rich in Omega 3 (seafood) improves our emotions by a lower blood pressure/cholesterol and strengthening our mind and body. Motoring the foods we eat can enhance our mental health and moody.
Finally, sleeping 8-9 hours a night helps our emotions remain stable—sleep is the foundation of mental health. In the DSM 5 every mental health disorder has one thing in common, sleep deprivation. This means sleep is the foundation of mental health. The effects of sleep on our mood is seen in young children. If my eight-year-old daughter Makayla stays up past her bedtime she becomes easy agitated and has crying spells.
Sleeplessness is often a symptom of mood disorders, such as depression and anxiety.
Sleep deprivation studies show that healthy people can experience increased anxiety and distress levels following poor sleep. Those with mental health disorders are even more likely to experience chronic sleep problems and, in turn, these sleep problems are likely to exacerbate psychiatric symptoms and even increase risk for suicide.
While sleeping 8-9 hours a night, repairs adaptive processing, increases functional brain activity, improves the integrity of the medial prefrontal cortex-amygdala connections, enabling us to regulate our emotions and experience better mental health. Some ways I experience better ZZZ is before heading to bed, I place my hands under freezing water for 30 to 60 seconds and spread the cold water on my face. This causes my core temperature to decrease by 2 degrees making me tired. I follow a regular sleep pattern and refrain from using blue light electronics 2 hours before bedtime so my body will produce melatonin.
Managing our emotions can be a challenge for us. By navigating our emotions we can experience equilibrium and adapt to change in our environment with less anxiety and confidence. We can manage our emotions by understanding our triggers, rating our emotional arousal level, sharing our feelings with a truest friend, eating healthy, and a good night’s sleep. Applying these principles can provide relief from emotional overload and improve our quality of life.
Video of Ron Sandison Sharing on Navigating Our Emotions
Ron Sandison works full time in the medical field and is a professor of theology at Destiny School of Ministry. He is an advisory board member of Autism Society Faith Initiative of Autism Society of America. Sandison has a Master of Divinity from Oral Roberts University and is the author of A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice. Biblical Wisdom, published by Charisma House and Thought, Choice, Action. Ron has memorized over 10,000 Scriptures including 22 complete books of the New Testament and over 5,000 quotes. Ron’s third book Views from the Spectrum was released in May 2021.
Ron frequently guest speaks at colleges, conferences, autism centers, and churches. Ron and his wife, Kristen, reside in Rochester Hills, MI, with a baby daughter, Makayla Marie born on March 20, 2016.
You can contact Ron at his website www.spectruminclusion.com or email him at sandison456@hotmail.com
