By Paul Gomez
My name is Paul. This is a list of my disabilities with their corresponding percentage issue of said disabilities:
1) – Non-Indepedent 32%
2) – Anti-social 36%
3) – Emotionally Sensitive 78%
4) – Discouraged 69%
5) – Distracted/Zones Out 67%
6) – Temper/Angry/Mad 18%
I have ADHD, I’m half autistic, if it wasn’t for my mom and other mentors that gave me a lot of guidance while growing up, my non-autistic side would never existed.
Childhood (age 5-9): I was very hyperactive as a child also a slow learner. My mom told me and showed me on video tape that teachers would pinch or slapped my leg to educate me. She stood up for me and made sure that didn’t happen again. This happened when I was 3 years old.
While growing up I remember always being yelled at by adults. I hardly saw my cousins or other kids my age ever getting yelled at more than me, but I knew my rights and wrongs and through the years I’ve been learning through my mistakes. I used to be easily influenced by my cousins or kids my age because of my autism, they would mislead me to the wrong path of negativity, I would get in trouble because of them.
Teen (age 12-16): As a teenager I still remained hyperactive, I would easily get temperamental/angry. I used to talk back to teachers. I think it’s because as a child I was treated unfairly and this is my way of not taking crap from nobody. I still would get easily mislead by other teens my age and sometimes would get into fights in school.
2009 (age 28): There were times I saw other guys with pretty girlfriends by their side and I would envy them very much and ask God everyday when will it be my turn to have someone in my life? One day my company had a meeting about going to a party. While I was there, I noticed a pretty girl across the room from me. In that moment I thought to myself that I would never see myself with an attractive girl like her. After the meeting was over she approached me, I wasn’t sure if she was interested in me til she asked me if I was going to the dance. That really put a smile on my face … I wasn’t planning on going but I changed my mind and decided I wanted to go just for her. When I left, my head was in the clouds. I was constantly thinking about her. At the end of the day, I went straight home after work and watched some dancing videos just to learn some ideas that I can use at the dance party.
When the day arrived I was looking forward to seeing her. I was feeling optimistic and excited. The moment I saw her I smiled. The dancing videos I watched really paid off. Both of us were having a great time together, and then when it was starting to get late, we headed back to the bus. On the way back home we were holding each others hand and exchanging phone numbers.
The next day, I received a text message from her asking me if I can drive her back home after work. I replied yes. This will be the first time I’ve been to her house. At the end of the day I picked her up to take her home and once we arrived she invited me inside her house. We both walked in together then the most amazing thing happened. I was right behind her just chatting away then she turned around and kissed me out of the blue. I became speechless because I always thought that happened in fictional story books and television and knowing that happened to me in real life really made my day. We instantly became a cute couple. I allowed myself to fall in love with Lindsey so I can be the best boyfriend she ever had.
Me and Lindsey did everything together. We went camping, went out of town, spent time at the mall…
One night her mom called me and told me Lindsey is having issues with her step dad. When she got back a few days later she untied the knot between our relationship and told me she’s moving into a Group home. That moment really broke my heart. I felt alone again.
I’m very happy I met her. She made me realize a lot about relationships. When we broke up I thought I did something wrong and started to educate myself about what women want in a guy. This forced me to change a lot about myself by improving my confidence and self-esteem.
Life changes us as we live through it, for the worse or better. Go for the better not for the worse, become a better person not for others but for yourself. I don’t have too much of a bad background in my disabilities, I remember being a good kid believing in God and enjoying making people laugh and always being optimistic. Drawing was my passion. I still have trouble keeping focused and get easily distracted. I take prescriptions to help keep me on task.
When my mom passed away in 2005, my dad took me in because I’m not good making my own decisions. I love my dad very much. He’s the only parent I have but I wish he gave me more freedom. I know I will get that freedom if I find my soulmate or if my dad passes away. I hate the thought of my dad passing away, though. I wanna keep him around til I die or til the world ends.
I know while I was growing up my mother was the only person who understood me, she was like my best friend and also my mentor/teacher, without her guidance I would never be like I am now.
Paul Gomez is an editor for Inclusion Films and was the editor for Normal People Scare Me Too. Read his blog The Art of Film Making and Inclusion.