I am dreaming of an Autistic Christmas

by Daniel Antonsson

As long as i can remember i have always liked Christmas and all things around celebrating this holiday. It is something to look forward to during the long dark days in the month of December here in Sweden where I live. Being autistic I appreciate following the routines that our family has built up over the years. Most things stay the same and it gives me a feeling of tranquility and security and it makes me relax and enjoy myself together with the people that are closest to my heart. The day before Christmas eve we stay up late wrapping up presents and we listen to Christmas songs of Frank Sinatra while we dress the Christmas tree.

There are also other Christmas decorations set up inside our house, small elves, the Christmas goat and other things.

In the morning of Christmas eve we give our little daughter a small gift and eat a good breakfast together, me, my wife and our daughter. At 12.45 my father arrives and picks us up and drives us to my parents house that is located in the middle of the forest a 10 ten minute drive from our apartment. It is just wonderful to spend this day in such a surroundings, it really gives me that special Christmas feeling. Torches burning leading the way up to the house and a warm welcome from my mum.

It is just the five of us, so we are a small family, but it is fantastic to celebrate in this intimate way. Shortly after that we have entered the house and we are greeted by the smell of delicious food, a big table full of food made with love is a nice sight to see and we eat and enjoy each other’s company. I don’t know how all you autistic people out there are feeling about doing the same things each year on Christmas eve, but I guess that I am not alone when it comes to the thoughts and feelings that I have told you about so far. It is nice to know what will happen and what to expect.

After our Christmas lunch it is time to watch a special tv show that is always on display this day, it is mainly cartoons. Then we have a coffee break with a lot of cakes that my mother has made. I am a health freak, so no cakes for me, just some diet soda. Later we have our dinner with a lot of good food again. Our five year old daughter will be waiting for Santa Claus, so shortly after our dinner i “disappear” and Santa Claus will show up outside walking around with a sack and a burning lantern, it is pitch black around Santa apart from a sky full of stars. When Santa arrives inside he hands out a lot of Christmas gifts to everyone. It will be interesting to see if our smart daughter will reveal her dad this year, no matter what it will be a happy moment. Later I return again just to hear that Santa has visited the house and we start to open our gifts, talking and having a good time together.

It is so fun to see the reaction of our daughter when she opens her presents. Christmas is a time to reflect on what is important in life and to be thankful for the life that we have. Christmas also leads the way up to new years eve which also leaves me reflecting over the year that has passed and creating hope for the next year to come.

I know that we are fortunate to be able to live this moment together and I know that there are so many people around this world that experience a totally different reality where they do not have food or a roof over their head, I wish them all a better life.

Usually I also send a thought to the people that are no longer with us, like for example my grandmother that I loved so much. We had such a strong connection and we shared many great memories together that I will never forget. When it comes down to it, family always takes the number one spot, everything else will be secondary. When it comes to Christmas we all have our own way of doing things and it would be interesting to hear about how all you people reading this choose to celebrate Christmas, especially you autists out there.

The rest of the evening we just socialize and relax in each other’s company before we go home from my parents house to have a couple of hours on our own before it is time to go to bed.

From me to you, I wish you a beautiful merry Christmas.


Daniel Antonsson is a 43 year old Autistic man living in Sweden with his Venezuelan girlfriend and four year old daughter. He has always enjoyed writing about different subjects and being able to publish for the Art of Autism make him feel truly blessed.

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