Autism Unveiled Week 5
I have been bullied all of my life. Whether it be about all my differences from neurotypicals, to not liking the music all the cool kids listened to, to not being a skateboarder and BMX rider like all the kids in the neighborhood did, for the sound of my voice, for having very short legs compared to the rest of my body, to not wearing “name-brand” clothing, or anything else conceivable, it always happened, never stopped, to the point that I do not feel safe and cannot come up with enough proof that it happened, which means the police don’t take me seriously anymore.
I thought I had friends at one place I hung out at around middle school age, until I realized they were making fun of me behind my back. Today I have no friends other than a couple of older adults from outside of the area where I live and a facilitator for my autism support group because I cannot trust anyone from the area I live in until I know that they aren’t friends with, relatives of or coworkers of my bullies. Probably the worst things that happened were being punched in the side of the head, knocked off my bicycle and left for dead while they took my bike to go to a meth lab, and being horribly beaten by neighborhood kids at a school baseball diamond, my library books destroyed, bag rifled through, bike wheels bent, left in excruciating pain while they said they would “go get their dog” to finish me off, and police wouldn’t do a thing since one neighbor says I started it.
I dislike how Asperger’s makes me have an overactive mind and too many thoughts and only after having a severe anxiety attack caused by these thoughts and this mind speed have I even considered curing autism, but only when I’m at my worst. I don’t really like having it because I would be so much better off with limited thoughts at one period of time and a sedate mind speed, and on the other hand it’s the only way I’m able to make safe friendships. I also dislike it because people expect me to be good with numbers, memorize numbers, recite numbers, do math, etc. when I am almost entirely mathematically illiterate, have no academic or intellectual aptitude and am more or less ineducable.
Diagnosed with autism since 1995, I have been creating dramatic art photography since 2005. Since being added to the Kindtree Artist Guild and Academy of Special Dreams artist residency in 2013, I have gotten greater exposure including multiple sales of prints and gallery exhibition. I am now a part of the Kindtree Artist Guild Operations Team, and strive to bring the works of autistic artists including myself to a greater audience while promoting autism acceptance and appreciation of the arts while continuing to produce my own work.
Here is some of my outsider art photography.
Chris Garza, Oregon, U.S.A.
Chris is part of the Autism Unveiled Project – Six weeks of blogs from Autistic people commencing on April 2, 2015, World Autism Awareness Day.