We understand when people are distressed. I can smell the endorphins.
By John Testore
I suffer for others and I’m always misunderstood for that.
People think I want to always be in control.
In fact it is my way of prioritizing. I know I’m good at prioritizing.
I don’t like acting on instinct. If I know I can do something on a better time, I prefer to wait. Like going to a concert…. people would get mad at me! In turn I get mad. And so my neighbors get madder at my madness! Vicious circle.
I want to be left alone when panicking. People would scold at me more instead!
All autistics know the situation all too well I know…
We want to protect you! Don’t counterattack and we’ll cool in few minutes!
We understand when people are distressed.
I can smell the endorphins.
That will result in rocking and mourning on my side requiring undue sedation.
Add a nurse as a wife and you’ll have the full picture…
My takeaway is henceforth consequential: Respect Autistic Boundaries.
Our boundaries are different. In fact I wouldn’t talk of boundaries but triggers.
I’m an extremely calm, patient, sociable, altruistic person. Only a handful of triggers can cause me to dissociate, like impulsiveness, lack of planning or change in routine.
I can adjust with time and understanding.
My name is John Testore and I m a British-Italian man married to a Japanese lady in Japan. I m a former Medical student.
I was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD in Med-school causing me to drop after my third year and join the Ambulance Service as paramedic.
Thank you John for sharing your story.
aah, another autist who can smell endorphins. and testosterone. and the practice of “delayed gratification”.
I really appreciate the line, “I can smell the endorphins” and also, “I suffer for others and I’m always misunderstood for that.” Those lines really captured my attention, thanks for sharing.
I have ASD high functioning ability and live in California of the United States. I’m looking for a forum site such as the Autism Society that exists anywhere in the USA. Anyone know where I can find a place to connect? Thank you.
I want to thank John for his sharing.
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